Let me make it clear this post is not an endorsement of Roland Sledge for Texas Railroad Commissioner. However, where else but Texas can you hear a candidate talk about peeing on an electric fence in his political ad?
I’m not really sure what Rod Blagojevich has anything to do with the Texas Railroad Commission and Texas politics, but that’s probably due to my child-like innocence and naivete.
If I’ve learned anything from this ad it’s that I shouldn’t pee on an electric fence. Nothing else.
Other than thinking most Republicans are a bunch of right wing, culture-war-inciting, crazy-as-a-loon, God-misinterpreting, morally bankrupt neocons that don’t have enough intelligence between them to read a science book, I’m politically agnostic. Note to my Republican friends – I said most Republicans, not you guys. Well, except the ones of you that are.
With that out of the way, I thought it might be fun (by fun I mean “did she just say what I think she just said?”) to take a look at some of the more colorful commentaries from some of our more high profile politicians (especially those looking to be President of this great country some day).
I also realize I could have chosen a bunch of questionable quotes for each of the people below (rather than just one), but I’m not sure there is enough room in the blogosphere to accommodate that much…need for a PR person (I was going to say stupidity, but that just seemed too obvious).
Herman Cain
“Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself!”
I actually watched the interview with the Wall Street Journal reporter that produced this gem. I have a hard time believing this quote will resonate with a) people that aren’t rich and b) people that don’t have a job. In other words, the 99 percent.
Rick Perry
“Printing more money to play politics at this particular time in history is almost treasonous in my opinion.”
This was a quote in reference to Ben Bernanke. For someone who purports to be a supporter of the Constitution, don’t you think he would know the meaning of the word “treason” as it’s defined in the Constitution?
Michelle Bachman
“And what a bizarre time we’re in, Jan, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
Do I really need to say anything? How do you respond to crazy? I’m guessing her husband maybe had one of those teachers that “recommended” homosexuality. He should just change his name to Cam.
Mitt Romney
“I’m happy to learn that after I speak you’re going to hear from Ann Coulter. That’s a good thing. I think it’s important to get the views of moderates.”
Either Romney has a really wicked sense of humor or he has no idea who Ann Coulter is.
Joe Biden
“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.”
Wait? What? Honestly, I’ve never been a big Biden fan. This quote actually explains a lot. For what it’s worth, the “terrorist” quote was pretty stupid, too.
Sarah Palin
“But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.”
I realize she’s not a candidate, but how can you ever pass up an opportunity to reference a Sarah Palin quote? I think she should be appointed either Secretary of State or US Ambassador to South Korea (Kathy Stephens, you’ve got nothing to worry about).
Glenn Beck
“When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, ‘Oh shut up’ I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining.”
“Al Gore’s not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization … And you must silence all dissenting voices. That’s what Hitler did. That’s what Al Gore, the U.N., and everybody on the global warming bandwagon [are doing].”
”I don’t think we came from monkeys. I think that’s ridiculous. I haven’t seen a half-monkey, half-person yet.”
”Every night I get down on my knees and pray that Dennis Kucinich will burst into flames.”
While not a politician, how could I leave Glenn Beck off this list? Wasn’t going to happen. There’s just too much paranoia wrapped in bigotry wrapped in misinformation wrapped in stupidity to not include Glenn Beck quotes. Next time, we’ll include Ann Coulter quotes.
Adios MOFOs!
Yea, yea. I know. Like all the Weiner jokes haven’t been done as of yet, and I’m just jumping on the juvenile bandwagon. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Right now, Sara Palin is bouncing around the country on her One Nation bus tour (what nation would that be? Damnation, maybe), rewriting American history while she blows through the stops signs and red lights of small (and big) town America, and nearly takes out a biker in Philly. While this tour is really more likely about Palin’s brand than anything worthwhile, Andrew Weiner could probably take a page out of Palin’s play book and embark on a road tour of his own to do “meet and greets” with his constituents.
While Palin symbolically extolls the virtues of driving a mammoth vehicle that likely gets three miles to the gallon during a particularly volatile time for oil prices, the vehicle of choice for Weiner will need to be more carefully selected. What could it be? What sort of symbolic vehicle would be appropriate for Rep. Weiner and his entourage? Wait, I know.
How fast would you run from this truck if you saw Andrew Weiner driving it?
How awesome would that be? Question though – would you take a hot dog from his hand if he were passing them out? Instead of the One Nation tour, he could call it the “Get Up” tour, or the “Stand Firm” tour – or something along those lines.
He can’t go soft at this stage. He needs to show supporters he has a firm grasp of the situation. He will do everything in his power to beat (or lick, if you prefer) his critics. Yea, I could go on all day.
Ok, playtime’s over – I’m done with my obligatory Weiner post. Now back to more serious topics – like selecting Reverse Full Monty candidates.
How does the old saying go from Mark Twain? “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” We’ve all been there – especially if you’ve ever been in a relationship (yea, you remember those painful moments when the mouth worked faster than the brain and you end up sleeping on the couch – or worse).
Hell, I’m proving Mark Twain’s adage simply by posting on this site. I guarantee you at some point I’ll look the fool (and probably already have).
But the recent winner of the “wish I’d kept my mouth shut” award goes to Lars Von Trier. Holy crap! I’ve never seen a moment quite like this in my life. In Public Relations parlance (I work in the world of public relations if you must know) we call it the “awkward silence” — the moment when conversation stops and human nature compels somebody to fill the uncomfortable silence with speech. Well, Lars did that – and it get really weird really fast. He could have farted in the room and that would have been less socially awkward than what he said.
Who is Lars Von Trier anyway? By today, he’s an Internet sensation, but I digress. He’s a Danish film director that was debuting a film at Cannes Film Festival called “Melancholia” about the end of the world or something along those lines. Kirsten Dunst stars. Here’s a sampling of what he said:
What can I say? I understand Hitler, but I think he did some wrong things, yes, absolutely. But I can see him sitting in his bunker in the end,” von Trier said. “He’s not what you would call a good guy, but I understand much about him, and I sympathize with him a little bit. But come on, I’m not for the Second World War, and I’m not against Jews.”
“I am very much for Jews. No, not too much, because Israel is a pain in the ass.”
Here’s the full video of his remarks. Kirsten Dunst, sitting next to him, looks like she probably threw up several times in her mouth. If she had an invisible ring, she would have put it on — even if the ring wraiths were to claim her soul.
He did apologize afterward and said it was all a joke. I find it hard to believe the he was joking, but if he was it was certainly in very poor taste.
Somebody smarter than me (that won’t be too hard to find) needs to explain this to me. I received a jury duty summons for Monday of this week. I was requested to show up at 2 p.m. The law-abiding citizen that I am, I diligently showed up ten minutes early (along with about 60 more folks). In all, 65 of us were summoned (I know that because I was #65 and last on the list).
While we all milled about the sitting area outside the courtroom like brainless zombies in a George Romero movie, the bailiff escorted people into the courtroom one at a time to present their doctor’s notes, excuses and other reasons for exemption to the judge. At this stage, we were running 10 minutes or so behind.
Fast forward a bit (2:30) and here was the “WTF” announcement from the bailiff. “We’re still waiting for 4 people to show up. The judge is going to give them another 30 minutes to appear.” Seriously!? WTF!? Are those four people really that necessary? Could they not find a suitable 12 from the remaining 61 of us that actually bothered to show up in a timely fashion? Apparently not – we waited. Btw, I don’t blame the people that didn’t show up – emergencies happen, I know.
If you’ve never been through jury selection, I’ll spare you the mind-numbing details of the selection process. In short, the prosecutor and defense ask the potential jurors a series of questions to determine if you can be an impartial juror in a trial that will be about X, Y or Z. Both the prosecutor and the defense zeroed in on about 8 – 10 potential jurors. Half of which felt they couldn’t be impartial for a variety of reasons. About 50 or so of us never got asked a question.
After the Q&A session from both prosecution and defense, we were herded into the sitting area once again. Left to our own devices, we started to mill about aimlessly once again – reprising our role in George’s movie. After a bit and another round of 1×1 time with a select few and the judge, we were summoned back into the courtroom. The jury was selected and the rest of us were dismissed. But some of those selected were ones that had raised objections during the Q&A session! I get that people make stuff up to get out of jury duty, but my question is this – of the remaining 50 or so folks that weren’t questioned or didn’t raise objections, could they not have found a suitable handful of folks to serve impartially on the jury?
If I were the defendant, I’d be shitting my pants a little bit based on 2-3 folks that were selected for that jury. I’d certainly be questioning my legal team.
To be fair, I understand the theory behind jury selection and “trial of your peers.” What I don’t understand is why something that doesn’t need to be this complicated and drawn out is…well, this complicated and drawn out. Am I missing something, or is this just bureaucracy? It seems we need a drastic overhaul of the jury selection process (and the justice system as a whole, but that’s a topic for another time). J
