Tag Archives: Mikel Arteta

Arsenal Player Ratings v. Manchester City – Wild Kingdom Edition

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From 17th place to 3rd place. In a single season. Just savor the smell of that for a moment. It’s such a sweet and satisfying smell. Very different from the smell of the turd that Manchester City is laying at the moment. I realize I’m getting ahead of myself a little bit and that there are still 6 games left to play, but, DAMN, if Arsene Wenger doesn’t deserve manager of the year – even if Arsenal finish 5th or 6th.

And you know what’s creeping into every Arsenal fans’ mind at the moment. Is it possible to overtake City? Is it possible to finish second? We’re ten points off the pace with 18 points up for grabs. It’s mathematically possible. I think it’s ok for the fans to think about that possibility while the players stay focused on the task at hand – securing 18 points. I can dream, can’t I?

Arsenal played such a thoroughly dominating game against City, it was good to see a result when it could have been one of those “coulda’, shoulda’, woulda’” games. But it wasn’t. Arteta stole the ball, struck the ball cleanly from distance and that was it. The Arsenal midfield completely outplayed the City midfield (very different from the performance at Loftus Road).

It really felt like Arsenal were like ferocious beasts on the Serengeti, constantly ready to pounce – and Manchester City was the car full of tourists that gets pounced upon by one of those said beasts. Enter my home, my territory, see what happens.

Szczesny (Lion) – Didn’t really have much to do today. Kind of lazily observed the game from his lofty perch, but went from 0 to defending his turf when it looked like Balotelli might be free for a 1×1 early in the game. For me, that was key play of the game and might have turned momentum in City’s favor.

 

Sagna (Giraffe) – I say Giraffe in a good way because Sagna simply made himself taller than every City player that was around him. He won every freaking head ball that was even remotely close to him. He was absolutely dominant today and munched on the leaves of the Man City tree (I don’t really know what that means, just got lost in the giraffe analogy).

Vermaelen (Wildebeest) – Vermaelen was everywhere today, defending van Persie’s header off the City goal line, playing as an attacking midfielder, running anywhere and everywhere. It almost felt like he was trying to overcompensate for a couple of unlucky moments against QPR, but I wouldn’t want any other CB on my team.

Koscielny (Gazelle) – Agile and quick, and very assured in his defensive position. Like Vermaelen, wouldn’t’ want any other CB on my team. That very neat and composed interception against Aguero (I think it was) – when he stepped between ball and player was absolutely superb. Shame that he will be suspended for two games, but he’ll come back rested for episode Chelsea.

Gibbs (Crane) – At one point, the FSC announcer said that “Gibbs wasn’t a very good defender.” What!? What sort of horseshit commentary is that? Gibbs has played exceptionally well the last few games. I didn’t think he played exceptionally well or exceptionally poorly today – but he was solid enough, and blended into the Serengeti as one of the lesser-noticed denizens that hangs on the periphery but helps keep the ecosystem in balance.

Song (Honey Badger) – Honey Badgers are complete bad asses. Made his freaking presence known. Practically had his leg snapped in two by the former City player know as Balotelli, but dominated in the midfield, broke up play after play and made some great passes on the offensive side of the ball. Song is easily one of the most complete players in the PL this season. I’m torn between Song, Rosicky or Arteta for MotM – so it might just be the entire midfield (although I’m leaning toward Arteta).

Rosicky (Meerkat) – It’s very exciting to see Rosicky getting back to the Rosicky we knew and loved prior to the devastating leg break. He has energy and guile, quickness and determination, and plays with a real sense of purpose. You can see that he really understands the game and has a vision and technical ability to match. I’m hoping this is what happens to Ramsey as well the next couple of seasons.

Arteta (Tiger) – Arteta was fierce and fearless today, putting himself in the right position on nearly every play. He’s not the fastest on the field or even the quickest, but he is one of the smartest and can pounce when you least expect it and impose himself on the game. I think for me he was the MotM today. And, yes, I know the tiger is not part of the Serengeti, but is part of the wild kingdom. :)

Walcott (Cheetah) – Another one of the lesser inhabitants of the Serengeti with speed to burn, Walcott helped keep the City defense off balance to some degree, but not his best game (but far from his worst). Was an important part of the team, but didn’t dominate nor completely disappear. Unlucky not to score.

 

Benayoun (Mosquito) – Man, he was a pesky little thing today. Started out on the left, drifted to the right, found his way to the center. It almost felt like Arsene played a 4-4-2, giving Benayoun a free-roaming role up front. He had a good, solid game today – considering he hasn’t played in quite some time. It would have been interesting to see The Ox play in that same role, but no complaints about Benayoun’s effort today.

Van Persie (Eagle) — Majestic and ever present, even if you don’t always know they are watching. Eagles can cover a tremendous amount of territory, can remain uninvolved for extended periods but just as suddenly strike for the kill. Robin had two killer moments that didn’t fall his way today, and he was all over the field (in a good way), dropping into the midfield to provide support, putting himself in the best possibly position to strike and generally buzzing about the place.

SPECIAL MENTION: Ramsey (Warthog) – This just isn’t Ramsey’s season. I know the call is to sell him, loan him out or bench him, but I’m actually feeling a bit sorry for Ramsey. He’s 21, coming back from a severe leg break, and obviously hasn’t fully recovered. He’s shown flashes of brilliance, so we know he has the technical ability and vision. I think if anyone can get him back on track it’s Wenger – I’m hoping in 2-years time we’re having the same conversation about Ramsey that we are about Song and Rosicky (remember when fans were calling for them to be sold as well?)

Arsenal Player Ratings V. Liverpool — Marvel Comics Edition

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How many times have we watched Arsenal dominate a game, take chance after chance, see the opposing goal keeper have the “game of his life,” only to witness a last-minute, last-gasp goal by said opposition on the single shot they happened to muster for the entire game and we all just sit there stunned?

Man, it sure feels good to be on the other side of that coin. While Arsenal weren’t completely dominated, they sure didn’t play their best game. A series of “coulda’, shoulda’, woulda’” moments should have seen Liverpool up by 2-3 goals at halftime. But they weren’t.

An absolutely beautiful day in Austin turned even more beautiful in stoppage time yesterday as Robin van Persie (aka Gandalf) used his wizardly leg to thump home a true gem of a goal to give Arsenal all three points.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, an uninspired Chelsea bumbled off and lost to a dangerous West Bromwich Albion team, giving Arsenal a clear three point advantage in fourth place. It even cost AvB his job.

And to continue the theme of the beautiful weekend, Arsenal are now within striking distance of Tottenham after they fell to Manchester United. Ah. It’s glorious.

Yesterday felt like a couple of superheroes stepped up to help an otherwise pedestrian Arsenal team win the game. Maybe we can call  yesterday’s team the Arsengers. So in homage to yesterday’s superheroes, here is the Marvel Comics edition of Arsenal Player Ratings.

Szczesny (Hulk) – Szczesny was the freaking Hulk yesterday. He was completely undeterred, utterly focused and unwilling to budge an inch. The man in green kept Arsenal in the game. He even used his superhero powers to prop up a fallen teammate and wouldn’t let him feel sorry for himself.

Sagna (Hawkeye) – Played a relatively minor role yesterday, except for a pinpoint strike at a crucial moment that resulted in an RvP goal. Good support character that allowed the main characters in yesterday’s drama to take center stage.

 

Vermaelen (Patriot) – I’ve never really heard of Patriot before. He’s relatively anonymous in the Marvel universe as far as I can tell. That mirrors the type of game Vermaelen had yesterday – the slip at the beginning of the game nearly cost us a goal, but Hulk said, “No goal!”

 

Koscielny (Gambit) – Gambit turned on and attacked the X-Men at one point in his career, but eventually came back around because he loved Rogue too much and became a powerful member of the team. Besides, Gambit has a French name (yea, I know, Koscielny is French but his last name is Polish – bear with me here).

 

Gibbs (Mockingbird) – Don’t really know who Mockingbird is either, but needed another average superhero filler name to toss into the description. Gibbs played the role of supporting cast, but not much more.

 

 

Song (Wolverine) – Beat up, punched around, exhausted, but strong when he needed to be. Provided the decisive pass to RvP in stoppage time that cemented the win for Arsenal. I wonder if Wenger has considered moving Coqulein (when he’s back from injury) to DM and playing Song as the attacking midfielder/playmaker with Arteta playing in the deep lying role. Hmm.

 

 

Rosicky (Owl) – Who the hell is Owl? Exactly. He’s part of the Marvel Universe, but doesn’t play a role much beyond that. Don’t get me wrong, I think Rosicky still has a huge role to play for Arsenal this season, but in yesterday’s game he was fairly anonymous.

 

Arteta (Deadpool) – Taken down and completely reinvented as a new superhero (I’m actually looking forward to Ryan Reynolds playing Deadpool). Arteta was stretchered off and taken to the hospital – he was solid as a player prior to the concussion (and one of Arsenal’s more consistent players this year). But wouldn’t it be awesome if they implanted a series of more refined technical skills and deeper football intelligence to make him the best midfielder in the Prem? I wonder if Arteta has a biting sense of humor?

 

Walcott (Dr. Bong) – Completely useless superpowers (Dr. Bong can hit himself in the head because his head is a bell) that don’t seem to play any real role whatsoever in a combat situation. Theo has had his brain dead moments, but yesterday was even a new low for Theo. Looked clueless and scared. I wonder if a bong was used in the creation of this character or by the speedster yesterday?

 

Benayoun (Sue Storm Richards) – Also known as the Invisible Woman. He forget to turn on his shield powers. The invisible powers were stuck in a loop.

 

 

 

 

Van Persie (Thor) — Who else but Thor? At this stage, RvP is almost god-like. Some folks wish he had been cast out of Asgard even as recently as 2 years ago. But he rediscovered his powers, picked up Mjolnir and continues to lay his opposition to waste (as well as kick some serious ass).